Relief Can Be INSTANT
Like Opening your Eyes to a Different Room
Last night, I spent the night at the home of Kristin, my dear friend and business partner. I slept in her basement apartment.
In the morning, I laid in bed with my eyes closed for a few minutes as I awoke.
I was in my own bed, getting ready to check the latest lovely sunrise.
Then very suddenly, my whole world changed.
I opened my eyes.
I had forgotten that I was not at home and nowhere near a sunrise on the water.
Winnie (my dog) and I were snuggled up on a futon in Kristin’s basement..
That is how instantaneous the shift can be when you “see through” your story about a painful situation or relationship.
You wake up from the surety of your story of ‘how it is’ and find yourself living in a completely different world. You realize that you were asleep to what was really here…. mesmerized instead by your OWN dream of it.
When my colleague, Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson, hosted my webinar series, she mentioned a similar kind of wake-up experience she received around a painful relationship. (By the way, click here if you want access to that webinar series, “Radical Relationship Relief.”)
Susan had been filled with sadness and frustration and disbelief around a friendship that had dissolved very suddenly. She shared on that video that she had prayed about it, gone to counseling, and worked the 12-Steps on this specific issue for a full year, but had not gotten the relief that finally came when we worked together in a single session.
At the beginning of our session, it became clear to me how incredible this woman and life are. And yet, despite her stellar intellect, spiritual competence, and all the powerful tools at her disposal, she simply could not find any other way to SEE the events that had unfolded with her friend.
When it came to this one situation, it was like she was alone in a room decorated with separation, unfairness, and a stuck kind of ‘needing’ things to be different.
We can only see through the reality our mind is projecting. Just like me waking up in my bed “at home.” What we each see is VERY VERY real to us. There IS no other reality in the moment that we are believing our thoughts. It’s all we CAN see—until we shift to seeing something else.
We just were never taught how to USE our pain to make that very shift.
The lens through which we look COMPLETELY dictates our reality. So relief is simply about adjusting the lens.
There is a predictable symmetry in our pain. AND there are completely dependable and almost instantaneous ways to wake ourselves up to its gifts.
It does not have to take a year or an hour or even 5 minutes to wake up to the symmetry held in whatever causes us pain. Susan’s perfect case study, which we will share more about in the webinar, was truly a ‘seeing through’ the blind spots. While the old story was very strong and resistant, we simply put this ‘happy symmetry’ in her situation to Work, creating a series of ‘ah-ha moments’ that changed everything about the way she saw her situation.
Grasping what I call this ‘reliable symmetry of happiness’ is a straight line to realizing(making real) the ways that WE—by believing our thinking–are doing to ourselves and ‘the other’ what we thought was being done to us.
When we see this, our whole world changes. That’s why I call it a paradigm shift.
It is radical, and it brings great relief to whatever we are relating to. That’s why I call it RADICAL RELATIONSHIP RELIEF.
(Feel free to call or email me if you want some of it around a tough situation.)