Today is my birthday; I’m spending it with my beautiful family and some friends. It’s one of those days when we humans tend to reflect on where we’ve been and where we‘re going.
I love knowing that living the life of your dreams is as simple as realizing that you already are! I am celebrating all the ways my clients are benefiting from using the VERY things that have plagued them for years to reveal the direct path to the tangible life changes they crave.
A member of my Mastermind & Mentoring group commented:
“I am experiencing a shift in an issue that has been a theme in my life for almost 40 years. I feel like something inside me is breaking open (in a good way!). It’s an awareness that these fears don’t have to rule my life anymore. When you see it in action on an issue that has held you in chains for decades, it’s pretty f’ing astounding. I can see the possibility for freedom. Wow.”
The first step in the “6 Keys to Dependable Peace” is to become the ‘Curious Compassionate Caretaker’–the one who never abandons the part of you that feels anxious, angry, or alienated in its belief that something different should be happening than what is happening!
Becoming the Curious, Compassionate Caretaker of YOURSELF
This shift into radical self-love and advocacy means that getting ‘right’ with yourself (and attending to all the parts of you that are screaming for help) becomes more important than ANYTHING you thought you needed from the outside. You begin to realize that was your path to peace all along.
What freedom as we shift our focus from changing the environment or others into stepping up to the plate to take responsibility for our own suffering in a curious compassionate way–the way we would with a child who was hurting and we want to know why and we accept them as they are and we will not leave until we know they’re OK. This move into self-solidarity creates a deep “no-matter-what” kind of inquiry into the thinking behind the places we are stuck.
And that’s just the beginning!
With this shift, they’re realizing that their work with me does not go in the direction they initially thought it would. They’re not just learning to observe and accept reality as it is (which, in and of itself, is HUGE). They aren’t being passive, unemotional observers (as folks often fear they might become if they are so good at loving whatever shows up).
What emerges is the opposite of passivity—PASSION.
You get to go beyond acceptance to the point where you move into loving the person or situation that is pushing your buttons—even when it’s yourself! That major shift frees you to act very proactively on behalf of yourself and others WITHIN the context of the reality that is showing up—even in the face of deep anger, fear, disappointment, and behaviors you don’t like.
But that’s not all….
Once we stop resisting reality–not being scared of feeling our feelings, but becoming curious about what they are telling us–we see that our limiting and “misguided” thought about our situation (not the situation Itself) is the real source of the problem.
With these ‘happiness hacks’ I teach, we can truly capitalize on the message that physiological reactions are trying to convey about where we were “out of synch” with our bliss, and we can then start generating REAL options. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! These dreams and visions will be viable options that we can actually live because we have cared for and re-wired the fearful stories behind our resistance.
In other words, the options we generate through this process are completely in-synch with the current state of our evolution!
This is where the fun really starts!
Ironically, it seemed that–by spending a week of slowing everything WAY down when they noticed emotional pain, becoming curious about the feelings going on inside themselves (without asking them to change), and seeing how they were treating the little innocent believer represented by the reactions in their bodies–that 100% of those who worked with me that week were surprised by the practical, real-world, problem-solving skills and solutions that emerged during our sessions.
There are some very predictable steps that support the shift into trusting when we feel or stuck in our marriage, around health concerns, issues with grown children, aging parents, etc., there is are some very important shift that allows the very changes we crave to occur.
Next week, we’ll endeavor into PART II of this blog. We’ll go into what those simple, new, really effective strategies ARE that start to live in us so naturally (that is, once we have made this shift!) I’m so happy to share this Reliable Symmetry of Happiness with folks; it’s like a daily birthday wish being granted. I’m so blessed.
Share your shifts… or lack thereof… below OR write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know if you’re interested in watching your life become a better place by being part of a new “Living and Loving without Conditions” membership program (for those who can’t take the big year-long high-commitment dive into our mastermind group, but want to get in on this “6 Keys to Dependable Peace” content and support anyway!)
It’s Never Too Late
Whether it’s a dream deferred or a relationship that just isn’t what you want it to be, it’s never too late. Most folks I work with thought they had pretty much been through the long spiritual journey already, and are so pleased to find themselves easily moving the mountains that were still getting in the way (or simply camping on them, and falling in love all over again).
Much love and gratitude,
PS… See you in PART II where we will go confidently in the direction of your dreams. I’ll give you the link to a cheat sheet to finding out what you really want, and what would keep you from living the life you have imagined for yourself… (HINT: It starts where you are, with a super reliable strategy to find that it is just what the Doctor ordered! Xox)