A FACEBOOK POST BY ME and A COUPLE OF COMMENTS FROM MEMBERS OF OUR HAPPINESS HACKS PRIVATE GROUP (TO JOIN, CLICK HERE):
I worked with someone who came in NEW today to get some help with having been left for someone else by her husband, and her concerns for her family’s happiness had led her not only to a lot of fear but to blaming herself for all the things she might have done that led to this over the course of a 25-year marriage.
It was fascinating to see the COMPLETE transformation in her just by coming to understand these concepts about self-forgiveness and enoughness and that we can’t know whether “bad” outcomes are really bad in the scheme of things, and how exciting it can be to move into this sweet love affair with yourself and model it for your children.
We didn’t actually do The Work, but talked out way through turning around all the thinking that was making her feel so hopeless, ill, and scared–mostly from examples of my own life crash and the happy gifts that came of it. The parallels allowed me to illuminate options that felt so right inside her that they kicked the old ones right out. She was SO ready to feel better… it was like lighting a candle in a dark room. She didn’t see any way out before. Now she does.
Nothing had changed at all about her situation, yet at every turn she kept reporting her whole body being covered in goose bumps, and then getting more and more light and full and confident and amazing and hopeful and even happy and excited, with a clear vision of how to support herself and her children that came so naturally to her, where she was clueless before.
At the end, this fairly traditional woman surprised me when she said “I feel like I ate mushrooms or something; I am in such an altered reality from the one I’ve been living in for months.” (And last week someone I worked with on multiple grieving situations broke through to a place of laughter and saying, “I feel like my DNA has changed. Everything feels so different.”)
And yet, the REAL altered reality was the one they had created–as we all do. When the first client believed all the bad predictions of what was happening to her family (which she found for herself to not be true), and that whatever pain anyone experienced was somehow her fault and she would have to pay penance for it. That was the reality that separated her from who she really is… and its how we all separate on more subtle or obvious ways from the divine unfolding that is happening here. If it hurts, you can be sure that it’s happening FOR you, to wake you up to whatever you came to believe and separated you from yourself, others, and this moment, just as it is.
We aren’t in the business of creating new dogma or beliefs here, we are just giving conscious mind a way to see the errors in its logic and the cause-effect suffering that comes from our dedication to the OLD mind-made dogma and fear-driven beliefs. I felt SO SO SO grateful to be in the presence of these phenomenal turnings-around, as I do every day. Supporting people to turn what they thought was a death sentence into an invitation to finally come to life–as is–and let it feed and support them in a new free-fall into fearless faith in what shows up, is my favorite thing!